Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

I am finding it hard to get back into the habit to programme and blog, some of the messages are imprinted into my mind but others evade me and I have been thinking about motivation. I know I want to be slimmer , fitter and healithier. I know I want to be more confident and alas for me, shallow soul that I am, that depends to a degree on what I look like. I had thought once I got my new job... once I got my divorce... once I met someone new.. everything would be all right. I also know this is niave and that no one remains in a static place. I am happier than I have been for a long time , surrounded by good friends and making positive changes. Why oh why then as soon as I am nervous , anxious or challenged in any way do I hit food/drink... why can't I shut the duck up/be kind to myself/occupy myself with other thoughts/mantra myself out of anxiety by "I can I will succeed" . I 've read about it enough. I know the answer is in me but sometimes it's so hard!

I last blogged just before the Vitality show. it wasreally good to actually meet people, apologies I didn't make the party, my feet really ached... too much walking!I suppose it is inevitable that the programme is easier to stick with whilst things are going well and the true test is what happens when there are challenges to face. Recently some difficulties about beloved children.. aren't there always and once again have gone "off piste" but I was reflecting on Pete's presentationat the Vitality show. Worrying doesn't get you anywhere so I've been reflecting on solutions and what I can do rather than the impotnece of frustration! So upwards and onwards. away this weekend and back on programme on Monday. all the best to everyone!

Thanks to everyone yesterday for the wonderfully supportive messages. I cannot say strongly enough how good it is to be back on line and feel that emotional and tangible support. I am really looking forward to tomorrow and despite the wretched engineering works which will mean getting to the Vitality show will be a real challenge, I will be there and fully intend to meet up with sue and the others for a pre show coffee. I can't wait! I was so tired last night. I couldn't sleep the night before and endd up having to go to a morning conference, followed by breast screening! and then a 2 hour seminar on enhancing your potential in study with my daughter. I was in bed by 9.30 . Interestingly much of the information from the seminar was very Pete... goal setting, focus, deteminationetc. I kept telling my daughter until she told me to shut up and listen!
I have a good day planned for toiday and will eat slowly, drink water and eat only when I'm hungry. Until tomorrow... have a great day everyone!!!

Thanks for the hugs yesterday. I needed them, Today is another day but I have some work to do as I found myself almost unconciously getting on the scales. Have put on 5lbs. It matters but I need to get back to establishing the second nature good habits.Still worried about my son but need to let him make his own decisions and accept the consequences of his actions. It is so hard as I want him to be successful and happy and cant do things for him. Ah life!

My computer died last week and i've only just got it fixed. I have missed this reflection time as to be honest a standard journal doesn't do it for me as i need the comnnections with others. I have had a significant relapse triggered once again by my son not going to college. He is nearly 18 and I really don't know what to do as i have tried mostthings and i realise it needs to be up to him not me. I can enable and support but notlive his lfe. that having been said I've been eating like a pig, hitting the bottle and weighing myself everyday, almost to punish myself because surprise surprise I'm putting on weight. I've also been pushing away my chap as he is desperately tryoing to be supportive and I have gone into myself. I think the fact I am putting these feeling/actions "out there" is the start of my recovery but I worry about my dependencies on all levels. Ironically it was displacement activities today Day 15 and this would have been one of mine had I been able to get online. Will be at the Vitality show and definatelyattendig "how to sort my life out" I have missed you guys!

I'm really looking forward to meeting up with everyone on Saturday. It will be such a pleasure. I am feeling really happy today and will be being active, eating slowly and drinking water. I am really enjoying my new job and I suppose being happy it's easy to put things into perspective and be relaxed. I know I won't be like this all the time though but am enjoying the moment. Life continues to be very busy and I this is one of the few times I have tto reflect. I was reminded by Pete about the importance of breathing. it seems such an obvious thing but I am concious that when stressed by breathing is shallow and measured breathing does help. Looking forward to today and wish the best for everyone! Sue would love to meet up and will be at starbucks, need to make sure exactly where!

I have just worked through a wobble and responded positively by booking my vitality ticket. I am off sick today having had a blood test which seems to have triggered some really bad feelings. I got home and discovered my son had not gone to college, he gave me a rather implausible story so I rang to find out he had an assignment today and had not turned up. This has been a pattern and I fear the college has given up as there is only so much they can do. My son is nearlly 18 so I suppose they have a point but I felt really distressed, especially as I wasn't a 100% anyway. I vented and then helped him to a degree, we'll finish the afternoon as I sent him back to college, where I hope he's gone. I am so worried about him but at least he has a home and family who care about him. I know some kids are not so lucky. the duck was suggesting all sorts of anarchic responses but I decided to book my ticket. Thanks Pete for resending the party details so I'm now geared to meeting up on Saturday. It will be great to put faces to names! Am still feeling a bit off so will stop now but really needed my Pete fix as I'd missed this am because of my test. anyway hope peiple are having a better day than me today! even with my positive gesture!!!!

I had a lovely weekend spent largely with friends and family. I als went that extra mile in more ways than one in that i went down the motorway. I used to rely on my ex to drive the distances. to be honest motoways and going to places across London that i don't know , scare me. I didn't mean to go on the motorway but my friend has moved to St Albans and I was visiting. I'd been before , once but the Satnav took me a different route. I survived! I also saw my friend who i haven't seen since Xmas . Pete spoke today about making time for friends and family and so take your mind off obsessing with weight. I did this by default this weekend. On Friday I went out with my old team. It was myleaving meal, a little late as I left on 14.12 but had a truly fantastic time. When i actually left they gave a lovely presnet and a bottle of champagne which i have said I'll share with them and cook them a meal once my ex finally leaves. They are such lovely people! I will use Pete's dinner party menus. I'm going to book my Vitality ticket today. The friend who was tentatively coming is now not as she will be seeing her brother but I'm looking forward to meeting people on Saturday. I have not got the evening details as I accidentlally deleted the link. Either can Pete or someone from his office please send it to me visa my email or i hope to meet up with people oin the day. i'm not on Facebook but if peole are meeting at a certain place /time I'd appreciate it if I could be included, Failing that possibly catching up at Pete's talk?
Sun shining, feeling positive. hope everyone else has a great day

today is glorious, the sun is shining, i've just re listened to day 5 and the duck . whilst it was playing I was questionning my motivation, Stress has caused me to fall back on old diffusing tactics which probably have not been beneficial in the long run. Things are moving ahead in my divorce and I am tempted to buy new things for a new start. I know however, I will have a lot less money so need to be circumspect. In my head I start anew once my ex has left but the reality is a) it can't wait and b) I have been changing. Sometimes because something appears to be common sense, i don't value it orthe fact I have made a positive choice.
I have been bloggin less due to being really busy on a positive way but realise having the motivational fix every morning is also my trigger to blogg. I haven't seen others blogs either , which always puts things into perspective for me. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and enjoys the sunshine!

Pete always acknowledges that you overeat/drink because of triggers other than hunger and thirst and emotional eating is a significant response to unmet need. I am in a new relationship which was developing nicely , gradually and pleasantly but recently he is becoming very important and I am not coping. This will sound ridiculous but I couldn't sleep, ended up waking at 5.40 and weighing myself! How ludicrous is that! I know it has a direct bearing oin the relationship, as to use Mandie's phrase, I was churning about things. I don't think I am having a relapse as such but am just aware I am sidestepping what I need to do , rather than addrsesing the issue. I suppose I ned to confront my feelings and be honest... sometimes this is hard and it's easier to eat/drink!

I have decided to revisit the 21 day programme more for the motivation and the focus rahter thanthe sense of not beiing able to move on that I had last time I redid the programme. My work colleagues have noticed I appear happier and slimmer which I credit to Pete, the programme and my fellow bloggers. i will also give myself some credit as well! I realise that things are dynamic and my feelings will change but believe I have established a pretty good foundation. Thanks Ash re the mobile suggstion. It really will be good to meet up. i always enjoy the Vitality show and buy every magazine going for the freebies, such a consumer. anyway look forward to reading the bloggs and enjoying the ever present support.
hope everyone has a brilliant day.

i think i'm going t go back to the 21 day programme, not that i need it particulally but i miss the morning motivational. Have still not booked my Vitality ticket and seem to have lost details of the evening meet up so would appreciate the link again.. I usually go with friends either Friday or Sunday but they didn't fancy Saturday so if anyone would like to meet up during the day , it would be good?
I'm having problems with my adolescant and with great difficulty resisted hitting the carbohydrates. i then felt really ashamed at how I'd dealt with the situation on an emotional level so spent the night tossing and turning. Life is hard but generally satisfying. I so crave the sun, it makes such a difference, everything seems so much more achievable.

I have not blogged for the last few days, partly because of time and partly because i couldn't get on the computer because my soon to be ex is flat hunting. To be honest it's really quite exciting. I have had some wobbles, amazingly these are chocolate ones and as mentioned, iIactually don't have a sweet tooth. i think there is also a level of trepidation in that my relationship with my "chap" is moving forwards as well. I am presesnting as very measured and reflective but inside I'm really nervous so I think I'm going to have to be a little more open otherwise how am I ever going to develop the trust I want. We are out tonght... thai food... lovely ! so will state my case I think.
I have listened to Pete and Stage 4 at last. I think it is the right stage for me , knowing I can go back to stage 3 for refreshment when I need. Pete has a wonderful way of crystalising all the doubts and presenting them in a way that appears to be both realistic and achievable. Nest stage here I come!
I think I'm facing loads of new thngs and definately have a positive outlook but it is scary and my previous defences have been food and the bottle. They are still there but my insight has grown and I am becoming less dependant

I think i was a bit gushy yesterday, a Gwyneth Paltrow moment! however I still feel really positive and priveledged to have the support of my fellow bloggers. i think i'm going to go on to Step 4 tomorrow, I have been looking at the areas I need to work on:
Be gentle, I still have the tendancy for self flagellation but i am now very aware of it!
Be paitent... I still want it all yesterday but it aint going to happen
Portion control... work in progrss
Give credit.. improving
Duck.. ongoing
Esat when hungry, some progress but room for improvement
goals; Improvements
Stimulants MUST TRY HARDER!!!
However, definately progress and it will not be a failure to review thee 21 day programme. Out with "chap2 and his dog for long walk followed bu nice lunch. I know will make the healthy choices!
Have a really good day eveyone!!

I am like a long playing record and definately showing my age but thank you so much to everyone for their thoughtfulness and consideration. I was definately a bit tearful this morning. You are all such a great group of friends as that is how I now see people even though we haven't yet met. I repeat I'm so looking forward to 20 th March. I haven't got my ticket yet but will do so. My friends who usually come with me are giving it a miss this year. I don't know if I mentioned that it was the day before I was due to go to the Vitality Show that my marriage ended. I look back now and realised that it was a really good decision but didn't appear so at the time. I continue to wobble, I continue to make wrong choices , the duck keeps quacking but I am not the same person who stated this journey and feel I have made some very positive moves.
Thank you to everyone who continues to support me in this process, One step forward but these are becoming more frequent!