Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

I've neglected myself for about a month now. My waistline has expanded as has my bottom and thighs. I also fill my bras a little better too! I have been eating such junk recently - and hadn't mustered a part of me that cares. Well tonight when I've finished this I'm going to bed earlier than I have done in a very long time. I'm not going to stay up and snack. I need to feel hungry for breakfast time. I need to wake up before 7am. My teeth are a constant pain for me, countless trips to the dentist and a crown later and I'm still no happier. Tomorrow I'll be making another appointment. I nearly came back last Tuesday after I went to a talk on EFT 'tapping'. It was rousing to do it because it reminded me of when I was 'in the zone' and finding it easy to make good unconscious choices. So true to form, I've stayed away while it's been difficult and come back when I've found what is fitting in my wardrobe lacking. I miss my jeggings and skinny jeans, not to mention many of my gym clothes are uncomfortable.

So this is me, back on the journey after too long a pit-stop. Still, at least I'm not beating myself up about it. What's the plan? I don't know at the moment. Reckon I need to use the tools slowly again. I am sooo silly for dropping my guard and letting the weight pile back on.

Such an organised day yesterday, got everything ready for work today. Good job as I got a call at 6.30am from the childminder who had been up all night with her ill daughter. At least I was able to get to work early and leave early for hubby's night shift. I was on program all morning, but it went wrong at lunch time, I made a bad choice of finding more food in the cafe at work after my packed lunch. I guess I just chose abandonment. My tummy reminded me that it's never a good idea to over eat, yet I still made bad choices this evening. Ho hum. Maybe it's that all or nothing mentality. Balance is what I need.

Good online session tonight with Pete. I'm not sorry I got the giggles :p There were a lot of distractions tonight. I think I can remember some of it. There was a lot of things to ring the changes over the next week, I recall I need to be a secret agent and not moan; choose food alternatives; have protein for breakfast; not take myself seriously. I bet there were other things?

So yeh, I want to feel trimmer and I have to drill home to myself I will only get there with effort. I gotta focus on getting the balance. I have to be strong. I have mistaken being having humour with myself with complacency. I'm not upset with myself and I'm not being unkind, it's just true.

Busy day again. Woke up late so mad rush out of the house, but found time to have a grapefruit and with some tropical yoghurt for breakfast. Dropped of kids to do gardening with grandparents while I did BodyAttack at leisure centre. I'm too comfortable doing BodyCombat now so it's a good challenge to do something completely different once in a while.

Lunch was rye bread, ham, and salad with flax oil. I toasted the bread because it came out of the freezer then rubbed a cut clove of garlic over it for added flavour. This afternoon I had a cereal bar too. I think I'll be asking hubby to put those in his special "Step Away from the Biscuit Tin" tin, I don't need them and I find them too moreish. Kids and hubby went to tropical fish shop while I watched the film '50 first dates' while I ironed; it was rather good.

Made lamb casserole and fruit crumble for family dinner. Also tidied kitchen and prepared lunches for tomorrow. Finished ironing. When I felt peckish about 8.30pm I ate a banana. House clutter gradually getting better.

Herbal tea to drink as usual, it's becoming such a habit that I forget to drink water!!! Hurrah, I have not overeaten :o)

Last night was a bad nights sleep. Our roof isn't completely water tight due to some shoddy work on it 3 years ago. We have come to find it leaks with it in heavy heavy rain. So last night I heard a drip drip dripping at 4am and it kept me awake for an hour. It even woke up my tummy but I told it to sleep, no way was I going to the kitchen.

Busy busy day, made some good and some bad choices. It's been hard work with the kids this weekend as hubby has had 2 day shifts. No BodyCombat either. Looks like I'll have a break from them tomorrow and get to a BodyAttack class. Plenty to do at home though so it'll be no holiday.

Off to bed before 10pm, hurrah!

I blogged at breakfast time about how I was feeling about my body. It helped put it into perspective. I was still full from overeating last night so I had hot lemon and ginger water for breakfast and a glass of goats milk (weird). I made a flask of herbal tea and a healthy picnic for me and the kids. My friend's 6 children came to pick up son all on their bikes, I would meet them at the cinema at 10am. This was real trust in my just turned 7 year old to behave without adult supervision.

Daughter and I left the house late walking to the cinema. There I found everyone waiting for the doors to open because the management had a problem withe the locks. Half an hour later we were in. We saw 'Where the Wild Things Are'; a story of a boy and his feelings about family life told in a fantasy land. Unfortunately, it dragged. It was 11am until I had my breakfast banana, and it was very enjoyable having my tea in the cinema!

Went to the park for picnic. I really took my time at my small box of food, didn't feel much of an appetite. Lazed around in the glorious sunshine while the kids played. I did do some minimal playing too. While walking home one of the pushchair wheels became damaged so we did our best to get home. I explained to the kids that the broken pushchair was upsetting for me. It was because daughter is still too young to walk to town and back without it, and walking is a big thing for me so I knew I'd have to buy another, which seems silly as she is very nearly 4 years old. Give it a year and she'll be able to cycle.

Knackered when we got home, prepared grilled lamb steaks, carrots, broccoli, cauli and new pots for tea. Very nice. I made sure I had a cup of herbal tea ready to drink after my meal so I would have that pudding urge dealt with, and it works. Hubby fixed the pushchair, hurrah! Had satsuma, a little ham, cheese and oat crackers at 8.30pm as was hungry again.

Drank water and teas all day. Off to tidy kitchen then bed.

Getting dressed this morning I couldn't sensibly do up my trusty 'fat' jeans. I'm wearing them now with some rather nasty muffin top. I thought I'd keep them on to feel the discomfort of the waist band. It's too easy to slip on leggings and tunics and not notice I'm expanding. My waistline is now at day 1 again. But I know I am not, I've come a long way since day 1.

Still feeling bloated from too much food last night. Breakfast is a glass of goats milk (yummy!!!) and a banana. I've packed a healthy picnic for todays trip to the cinema and park.

I am doing my very best to shut the duck up about my feelings of these jeans and how blobby my body has become. This is fact, I am wearing more fat and have lost a lot of tone. It will be hard work to get this off, but I'm not scared of the process. I'm ramping the effort up by making some recipe and meal planning time. I hope the nutrition plan has things the family will enjoy.

My heart feels heavy, but I'm trying to laugh with myself.

Humm, I overate this evening, the kids didn't eat their meals because they didn't like what I did with left overs. I ate theirs too to prove I liked it! How dumb was that? Pudidng was fruit puree with sheeps milk yoghurt (weird!) , followed by a cereal bar, '9 seed bars' with carob topping, and not forgeting the cheese and crackers later on.

OK confession over, what else has been happening today?

Got normal morning jobs done and boy was late to school. Daughter whined the whole walk there, but at least we played while walking / running / skipping home. Porridge with raisin and cinnamon for breakfast. Did the nutrition program questionnaire again, my points have gone slightly up. Need to 'digest' the new report. Ordered birthday bike for daughter too.

Pre-school yoga, we arrived late so I wasn't quite as into it as normal. Session OK. Refused biscuits. Lunch at the cafe in the yoga centre. Broccoli, fennel, onion and someother ingredient soup with seeded bread. We shared flapjack and creme fresh for pudding.

Went to sorting office to collect parcel - a free box of tea, I think it was Birt & Tang. On to supermarket. I wish I had planned my shopping properly because I meanered around Sainsbury's for up to 2 hours this afternoon. Not good, but did avoid oh so many anti nurtients. I hope I've got enough for some receipies this week. Dropped shopping off home.

Picked up son late from school in car. Went with friends to a good playground and sat chatting while our collective 10 kids played. All good fun, but not active as so tired from meandering around the shop.

Got home to a messy house from leaving it in a mess, quick-out-the-door styleee, 3 times today. When it's a pigsty on the ground floor it feels crappy down there, and tired children don't help with things either. As I said, I've overeaten so it's counteracted all the good I've done today. Tooth still aches. Unusually played PS3 with hubby tonight.

Tomorrow we have planned £1 cinema "Where the Wild things Are" with the same crew of friends as today. Then onto the park for picnic - fingers crossed for the weather. I'll walk to town. I'll have to make the effort not to overeat and to be active at the park.

I had forgotten to hit 'publish blog' on yesterday's entry so that is why it appears I have two for 1 day.

Well today was a good day. I said no to cakes at work, which is something I hadn't been doing recently. I biked to and from work today, it was fun (and quicker than walking). Got home form work to a roast dinner care of hubby. I probably had a bit too much, but at least I haven't snacked this evening. I didn't eat emotionally when the kids played me up tonight, drank teas instead. Made sure the kids tidied up their toys and clothes before bedtime and I did the kitchen early in the evening.

Mostly a great day.

OK it's great, I've got my mojo back.

It wasn't a good start to the day with a car alarm waking the street up at 5.30am. Fell asleep and snoozed the alarm, went into a dream state so didn't notice it got to 8.15am! Mad rush to get family out of the door, son was late to school. Hubby got the car to the mechanic for an 8.30am appointment! Banana and water breakfast.

Took daughter to the play group she had previously been with the childminder. All very welcoming to me. I was surprised that I wasn't 100% comfortable there as my baby is nearly 4 and so independant that she didn't need me. Had a seedbar while I was there. I just did my best chatting to the mums and helpers. I'll get used to it. It's only this term, she starts part time school in September. Anyway, I had to leave early for dentist.

I have to have a crown for a persistant filling. The temporary gunk he put in put me off eating for a while so that helped! Not looking forward to the crown at all.

Simple ham and pickle sandwich, crudites and hummous, half a bag of monster munch too. Achieved the latest step in decluttering the house. So far managed the kids rooms. Afternoon snack was an apple. Had another seed bar about 5pm for exercising energy. (Couldn't think of a better alternative at the time). I've had no 'real tea' and been really content with my choices.

Thank you to my babysitter for helping out in such a short notice. I was very glad to get to Body Combat as haven't been much in the last few weeks. My cold appears to have very nearly gone. I biked to and from the leisure centre, it was quicker than the car. I liked having the bike out again.

Tea was courgette, red pepper, button mushrooms, garlic, and cashews sauted, and for flavour a mix of soy sauce, rice vinegar and ginger syrup, served on a bed of oven chips!!!!!

Really rather nice to have herbal tea to clear the palate after a meal. I've also had camomile tea before bed (after I brushed my teeth!)

Going to Ragdale Hall health spa in May with hubby so I'm going to use this as my reminder to stay on track. It's quite typical of me to loose some weight, get comfortable and put it back on again. The bonus is though that each time it happens I'm learning more and the cycle will be broken. My binge and recover cycle is changing from 3 or 4 days on to 3 days off program, I've been able to keep on track for much longer this time. I don't like the binge cycle, I'd much rather find my constant comfortable place with food. I do have the same weight to loose. I know that now the cold has (practically) gone I can step up being more active. I gotta get more toned. I've a personal trainer session booked for next month so that will give me some one to one guidance on resistance. I am getting a kick out of blitzing the house so that will keep me moving too. I'd like to go for training runs for Race for Life now it's not long until our local race in June. I'm also going to sign up for a walking marathon in July.

Hurrah, going to bed before 11pm! owww, my tooth hurts a little again :o(

Because I've not blogged for a while. Super online session tonight. I'm reminded that the reason for doing the program is so my clothes continue to fit and I can run comfortably. Hopefully this rotten cold is at the end. Dentist tomorrow.

I feel off program. It's not all lost as I'm here blogging (reluctantly). My mood isn't low, I've just lost my focus. I'm finding I've lost time over the holidays and it's taking time to get the house back in order (not that it was before the hols). I've been going to bed too late again and it's really hitting my food choices in the day - too many poor choices. I did manage to do Body Combat tonight and did my best to get though this cold heavy in my chest. I did walk to town with daughter and pushchair to buy fruit & veg from the market. Hubby picked us up from the supermarket in the car. Also walked for the school run as normal. I tried goats yoghurt today, it had the usual goat flavour but that disapeared with the honey I added. So what do I do next? Not sure. I can't be too far from my groove though. I've got to keep going.

I forgot to blog yesterday. I did watch the video in the morning. I used the Live Online 'room' to chat with other members in Pete's absence. I had a 'brown food' day yesterday. Not good.

I tried to go for a run tonight but this blasted cold was hampering my breathing and I ended up walking the majority of it. I know it's better than nothing but it's still demoralising. I suspect I've also got some hayfever too. I have over eaten this evening. School starts tomorrow so my normal routine can recommence. I've missed out on my 2 BodyCombat sessions because of the cold and it's made a difference to how I feel. the duck is quacking louder and it's getting quite distracting about body image and food. I gotta sort out my priorities.

* Make use of the nutritional program;
* Go to bed on time;
* Tidy the house post school holidays;
* It's better to watch the videos in the morning.

It's late, it's been a good long day with son's party. Lots of Fun. I did have some party food, not enough water, which in turn lead me to overeat / make poor choices this afternoon and evening,

Day 11 video is well timed. Son's birthday party tomorrow so I promise myself that I'll be on the ball with not pick pick picking at the party food. I like the energy Pete has in this video especially. DO I LIKE IT ENOUGH TO WEAR IT? Errrrrrrgh!

Today was a very busy day. I wasn't too hungry this morning so ate my muesli late, I'm very used to the goats milk now. Housework and nagging kids most of the morning. Went to supermarket to get final few things for the party. Stopped for lunch of beans, 1/3 portion of chips, peas, carrots and shared large sausage roll with daughter. I didn't have pudding. This afternoon I made son's AWE - wait for it - SOME treasure chest birthday cake. I'll be posting pictures on FB. Last year when I made cakes for the birthdays I was picking at cake off cuts, icing and sweeties all day long. Today I ate no sweets nor icing, but I did lick a few chocolaty spoons and a few small small small pieces of cake.

I had dinner late, it was the last slice of cold pork, turnip and chive homemade soup with creme fresh and 2 slices rye bread; then an orange. I also made No Bake Chocolate Cake and chocolate rice crispy mini cakes. After such a busy day I'm happy with how it's gone. Tomorrow I shall also be serving carrot, cucumber, grapes, and cherry tomatoes along with the sandwiches and (more) sausage rolls. I think I'll have to watch the Orgasmic Experiences video tomorrow BEFORE the party!