Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

Just a really quick blog tonight - still struggling with motivation but have been thinking about what Pete said in response to my last blog and I think the route of my yo-yoing is that I don't really beleive that I can be a slim person.
I think because I don't really believe it then my sub-concious mind starts to sabotage my efforts once I start to get to that point where I am starting to "feel" slim.
I'm not sure I'm explaining this well but it sort of makes sense to me and I felt I needed to write it down to try and understand it a bit more.
I have decided that I am going to have a mantra of
"I can, I will be Fit, Healthy and Slim" (guess what inspired me!LOL)
I have written this on a piece of paper and stuck it to my bathroom mirror and I am going to commit to saying this out loud while looking at myself in said mirror 21 times. I reckon if I do this at least twice a day (morning and evening teeth brushing times seem good!) then it should start to sink in.
It also motivates me so I'm going to try repeating it to myself whenever a I have a negative thought (not necessarily out loud though!LOL). This may take a bit of practise to register the negative thought quickly enough to shut it up with the mantra but in time I think it'll work.
Hopefully this will get me back into the world of healthy eating whereI only eat enough for me instead of eating enough healthy food for 2 of me!

Good night

xx

For some reason I have completely lost my self control and motivation to concentrate on the programme and I am starting to get those feelings of desparation about ever being thin.
You knowI seem to do really well and then sabotage myself and I can't understand why. I'm not upset about anything so there is really no need to be comfort eating, I just seem to want to eat.

I'm thinking of trying hypnotherapy as I'm fed up of yo-yoing, loosing half a stone or a stone then putting it back on again. Has anyone else tried it and do you think it would work?

Wobbled last night. Ate way to much and made myself feel a bit ill.
I'm going to list what I ate just so I can see how much it was:

3 marinated artichokes
multi seed tortilla wrap with philladelphia & branson
multi seed tortilla wrap with honey
4 multi seed tortilla wraps on their own
4 prunes
a bowl of allbran
A hot chocolate.

This was all after I had had dinner and after I got home from the pub (part time work not drinking!) at 12:45pm

So what casued it? Well, I had been heading towards it all day, and actually it started after dinner before I went to work when I had a bit too much to eat. I knew I wasn't hungry I just wanted to eat.
I think Ash was right in her comment yesterday that I'm still getting used to living on my own and while during the week I actually enjoy it at weekends I tend to feel a little lost.
I think this is because all my friends are in couples so unless I have made plans with them I don't tend to see them - I certainly don't like to approach them to see if they want to do something as I know that weekend time is special for people. I guess if I'm honest I also have a fear of being rejected so would rather just not ask than be told no!
For some reason I was also feeling really fat yesterday - and started thinking about how I could lose weight quicker. Now I know this is nuts because during the week I'd been feeling really fab about the weight I have lost and the fact I am now very comfortable in size 14 trousers rather than the size 16 being too big but the 14s just a little small. I reckon this was probably bought about by my low feelings and the fact that I was a bit lonely made me feel insecure.

I'm disapointed in myself for this and am just thankful that I have no "bad" food in the house otherwise it could have been a lot worse!

Anyway - Today is a new day and so I'm going to go to my body conditioning class which should make me feel better. I'm working again this afternoon at 4pm so I'll need to get some gardening done before I go. The grass needs cut and I have weeds to pull out!

Hope you all have a great day
xx

For some reason I seem to have completely lost my get up and go.
I went out Thursday night and had a great time. I then went out again last night and again had a great time so why am I so fed up this morning?
I'm wondering if it is because I haven't done any proper exercise since Wednesday? I have been going to a step class on a Saturday morning but this morning convinced myself not to go but to go for a run instead - well not I've done neither! I just can't be bothered and I really feel like just spending the day sitting watching the telly and munching on food.

So far I've managed to resist eating anything other than breakfast but I think I need to take myself out of the house and do some movement.
I've made some mushroom soup so I think I'll have that for lunch and then go fo a walk into town. I need to go to the library and I think once I'm and about I'll feel better. I may even go for a run when I get home!

Hope you are all having good weekends!
xx

Quick Blog as I'm in a bit of a rush.
Did OK yesterday but forgot (again) to leave food on plate.
I need to try this again today.
Did OK foodwise until I went for a curry when I got out of the nightclub! D'oh!

Outcomes for today:
eat only when hungry
Eat slowly
Leave some food on my plate

Have a good day all,

xx

Had a reasonable day yesterday - everything I ate was good, healthy nutritious food and I went to Yoga.
BUT, I forgot to leave any food pn my plate and at lunchtime I finished my salad and then realised I had eaten too much. However when I got home I only had a sandwich as I didn't want to eat too much before Yoga and then didn't eat anything again until I got really hungry and had some prunes and yoghurt.


So what do I want to get out of the programme:

1. A body that I like and feel I can be proud of
2. To feel in control of food and make Only Eating When Hungry a habit
3. To Stop eating when full

Sou my outcomes for today are to:
Only Eat when Hungry
Leave something on my plate at all meal times
Eat slowly

Got a busy day at work and then going to gateway tonight and then meeting friends for a drink so its going to be a pretty hectic day from the time I leave for work to when I get home but once I finish work its all fun things so I'm looking forward to it.

Hope you have a good day

Luby

Weel today is day 21 and I need to review myself:

giving yourself credit - 9/10 I'm starting to find this much more natural
shutting the duck up - 8/10, Recognising the duck is getting better
eating slowly - 7/10, could definitely improve this but still not as fast as I used to be,
being very patient - 7/10, hmmmm not as results focussed and thinking about this as more of a lifestyle change to embrace so I think so
being positive.- 9/10, feeling positive most of the time
thinking before you eat - 9/10 thinking about my food choices pretty much all the time and generally make good ones. I think my issue is more quanity rather than quality LOL
using the Hunger Scale - 8/10, I have been really concentrating on this but think I have become a little complacent in the past week
thinking before you buy - 10/10 - I had three bags of shopping this week and two were fruit and veg!
eating a balanced diet - 10/10 - Again the issue is quantity
focusing on your goal - 8/10, I've pretty focused but have taken my eye of the ball in the past week,
drinking plenty of water 10/10, often drink over 3 litres of water in addition to tea & herbal teas
eating more nutritious foods - 10/10

OK, so all in all I thin kI have done pretty well this time round and can definitly feel it in my clothes so big pat on the back for me.
However I weight myself this morning and have put 1 ound on this week. I'm not going to give myself a hard time about it BUT I need to recognise that I do tend to become a little complacent.
This has happened so many times, I'm happily loosing weight, finding it pretty easy and think to myself that I'm under control. I then stop focussing on what/when I'm eating and bang all my hard works been undone!
Now this has NOT happened to me this time but I need to be aware of it and aware that I need to keep my focus and not become complacent.

So I'm going to start day 1 again tommorrow and focs on 3 things
Eating ONLY when hungry (this really worked for me but is not yet a realy habit as I have realised that in the past couple of days I have been eating when not really hungry. Still better than I was as I have not eaten when full but it still needs more effort to make this a habit)
Eating slowly - I need to eat without distractions, chew 21 times and put my knife and fork down!
Stop eating when I've had enough - I know this comes with the eating slowly tool but it is something I resist doing. I hate throwing things away and if I'm enjoying what I'm eating (which I generally do) then I want to finish it all. I think I will try leaving something (even if its just 1 bite) on my plate EVERY time I eat to get me used to it. If I do that 21 times then it should become easier.
Hmmm - just thought, how do I do this when eating my nectarine later!!!! Maybe I just need to not be quite so fastidious about getting every single bit of flesh off the stone LOL!

So outcomes for today - Eat ONLY when hungry;
Eat slowly;
Leave some food on my plate each time I eat.

Hope you all have a great day
xx

Feeling much more positive today - thanks to Pete and Ash for making me feel better after my blog last night!

On Day 20 today and Pete was talking about firm foundations and you know I really feel as if this time round I have finally got something I can build on.
I joined petecohen.tv in January and have been through the 21 days several times but this is the first time that I think things have really really sunken in and I feel that this really IS my new lifestyle and I'm not just following another healthy eating plan.
I guess this makes sense as I have now been practising living this way for a number of months so its getting more and more natural and this time round by really concentrating on ONE tool but making it the tool I really really need I feel I have taken a huge stride forward.
I think I'll repeat the 21 days straight away as I know I need to start really thinking about my food while eating it and listening to the stop eating signal which I know I still override at times.

Had a reasonable day yesterday food wise:
All bran for breakfast,
Salad for lunch,
Strawberries and fresh peas for morning and afternoon snacks.
Baked potato with Tuna mayo and salad for dinner and a handful of dried apricots as my sweet fix when I got back from seeing my ex.
I also went to a step class.

I have my lunch made for today (rest of Tuna may with Salad) and am going running tonight so it should be a good day but I need to try and NOT get caught up with blogs tonight and go to bed early!

Have a great day all

Luby

I've just been round to see my ex in order to take him to Ikea to get a new TV stand and while I seem to be completely unaffected by seeing him I cried all the way home after going in to see my three lovely cats.
The reason I was crying is that 2 of them won't let me go anywhere near them, these are the 2 that I had for 8 and 10 years respectively and were alwasy MY cats. The kitten we got last year is fine with me but then he hadn't built up the real bond which I had with my other two.
I know they are just confused and cats do grieve for people when they stop seeing them but it still really really pulls at my heart strings when I can't cuddle them and they run away from me.
I know they are better with him as he rarely goes out and I am out most nights (no where exciting, usually just the gym) but even so it doesn't stop you feeling the emotions.
I am trying really hard not to eat everything edible in the kitchen but I know that I will regret it if I do and it won't actually make me feel any better.
I'm also feeling incredibly guilty about my ex. It would have been our anniversary yesterday and he found it really hard to cope so tonight he was asking me How I could just switch off all emotion, and I can see his point as I do seem to have moved on incredibly quickly. I just think though that it proves the marriage was dead, for me at least, way before I ended it.

Sorrythis is such a downbeat blog and I know that those of you withuot pets will think I'm mad (and I know I probably am) but it helps to write these things down. I'm feeling a little calmer now and not so likely to fall head first into the fridge.

Luby

Had a reasonable day yesterday - had to keep battling the duck a bit and I'm afraid I did eat a bit too much last night for dinner - should have stopped eating but didn't. However I was hungry when I woke up this morning so I guess I couldn't have over eaten too much.
The video this morning got me thinking. I need to take responibility for myself, for what I eat, drink and do.
I am in charge of my life and decide what path I am going to take. I am the one who's opinion really matters to me (well that's the theory anyway - I'm still trying to battle the "I need other people's approval Duck" LOL). So I need to do what makes me happy, or at least what will make me proud of myself!
Hmmmmm - think I'm thinking about more than food here, but then I guess if we have discovered one thing here its that being overweight is about more than food, its about your whole emotional state of mind!

Have a good day all

Luby
xx

Well - I feel SO much better than I did yesterday.
I've been to my body conditioning class and feel pretty set up for a day of gardening, housework and shopping (for food not clothes).

I have been noticing in the last week or so that my clothes are definitely getting looser on me and I'm loving the fact that I can FEEL the weight moving off.
I dodn't want to buy any more clothes as I want to wait until I'm happy with my weight and have reached the weight thats right for me - but to be honest I'm not sure that I'll know when I get there and I'm still scared that I'm going to hit that point where I think to myself "you look OK, you can stop trying now" and then I start eating rubish and eating when I'm not hungry and on piles the weight. I know thats silly talk but sometimes its how I feel.
I've just realised while typing that its the duck thats saying that and making me feel like that. He's also trying to make me want to eat when I know I'm not hungry!
Right Ducky, your days are numbered!
I think I might get a picture of a duck and stick it on my fridge just to remind me that its the duck that is feeling neglected these days and trying to pop his head up. I know I only need, no WANT, to eat when I'm hungry. I mean in a logical world why on earth would you eat if you weren't hungry. I just need to tell that illogical little duck that he is NOT getting his own way anymore.

Wow - blogging really can help you sort out your thoughts and put things into perspective. I feel even more positive now!

Have a great day all
Luby
xx

Feeling really really rough today. Drank way too much last night and even though I had a good time I'm feeling a bit flat today.
So today I am going to eat good healthy food to make me feel better and Only eat when hungry.

I had an OK day yesterday - I ate well for most of the day but at lunchtime I got pulled into a meeting with 2 of the department managers and asked to helpthem put together some stuff for a senior manager. This basically wiped out the rest of my day (and this morning I suspect) and meant that I didn't get home last night before having to go out to Gateway (a social club for adults with learning difficulties that I help run).
I had planned on getting home so hadn't packed enough food to keep me going until 9.30 which is when I got home so I had 2 packets of quavers while I was there as these were the healthiest things there and certainly better than the chocolate (I'm sure one of the mars bars had a duck on it calling to me lol!). When I got there I discovered there were only 2 of us volunteers (there are normally 5) and so I had to run the tuck shop on my own (surrounded by chocolate and crisps so no wonder I had to eat something! LOL)
When I finally got home at 9.30 I had a tortilla with spinach and cream cheese which was lovely. I then had a handful of dried apricots.
So, al in all a good day food wise as I didn't eat loads at Gateway but had something to keep me going and when I got home I didn't just fall into the fridge!

Tonight I am going on my first date since I was 15! Eeeeek!
I'm excited and a bit nervous. We are going to a comedy club so it should be a nice evening but even so its quite scary to be going with someone that I haven't known for 20 years which is how long I had known my ex. Oh that makes me feel and sound old Lol!

Wish me luck!

Luby
xx

I'm going to list the displacement activities that have been working for me for the past 15 days so that when I start to struggle to only eat when hungry I can come and have a look at them.

1, Go to gym/exercise class - this gets me out of the house and away from the fridge
2, Go to bed - I often eat when I'm tired, if I go to bed and read a good book I'm upstairs and away from the fridge
3. Blog - This is one of the most powerful as it keeps me away from the fridge and gets me inspiration from reading other people's blogs
4. Phone a friend - need to be careful with this one as I don't think phoning my mum works, but phoning my sister and friends does.
5. Have a cup of decaf tea/coffee and read a magazine.
6. Have a glass of water or orange squash.

Had a good day yesterday. Went and met my friend for coffee, we went to Marks and Sparks and they have increased their range of cakes. I always used to get the Victoria Sponge and was well prepared to resist that, but when I got there they had a lovely looking lemon meringue cake and my friend was there saying go on Helen, have cake. BUT I didn't, instead I had some fresh strawberries and raspberries in Jelly which was delicious!
Now, I know the jelly contains sugar but way way less than the cake and I think that I had a HUGE success in choosing this over cake, especially as I was getting encouraged to go for the cake, but I just said I really don't fancy cake and left it at that and to my surprsie my as soon as I said that my friend was fine and stopped encouraging me to have some.
So, big pat on the back for me.

Hope you all have a great day today - just going to catch up on some blogs now

Lv Luby
xx

well yesterday was another good day - Yay.
I had muslie for breakfast, fresh pinabpple and 2 nectarines for snacks then home made chicken curry for lunch.
I came home before going to the running club and had some strawberries with yoghurt. I almost never went running as my friend wasn't going and I don't really know anyone else there so I thoguht about going to an aerobics class. But then I thought about the fact I'm doing the Great North Run in september and really need to start training so I plucked up my courage and went along.
I'm glad I did as we had a lovely run, I had no idea where we were for a lot of the time but the scenery was lovely. I spoke to a number of people and will definitely be back next week, I think if I Keep Going then I'll make some more friends there and it will be much more fun.
Keeping it short today as I'm in a rush to get to work. But my outcomes for today are to Only eat when hungry and NOT eat cake tonight (meeting my friend that I was supposed to meet on sunday for coffee).

Have a great day all

Luby
xx