Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

Feel like someone's pulled the plug on my energy supply today. Finally admitted defeat with my cough which I've had for a couple of weeks and went to the doctors (does anyone else find that the second you've phoned the doctor you feel better and then start questioning whether you should go or not?!) Anyway now have antibiotics for a chest infection. Too much to do at work to take any time off so will just have to take it one thing at a time. Also going to stick with my walk but at a gentle pace so that I get some fresh air and have stocked up on grapes and strawberries to take work for rest of week. Have parents coming over this weekend for Mothers Day - was going to try and cook something from scratch but decided will wait until I have more energy so will probably cheat and have the meal for four offer from MandS .

Had my meeting with the manager today. Went pretty well reached a compromise that I'm happy with - not my first choice but better than what was originally being planned. Still only proposals at moment so will have to wait and see. He also went through the new ground rules that he intends team leaders to enforce - no negativity, no personal items on desk, no personal phone calls, no talking (no personality!!). - targets to be set and met, team leaders to assess their team, manager to assess team leaders performance and so on. I think what he wants is an office version of the film Stepford Wives. He also said that he has been quite gentle with people so far (lol!) and intends to be more challenging from now on. Oh happy days!
Food wise - did succumb to cake but only a mini one .
Exercise - did my half hour walk at lunchtime - uphill this time - with hindsight not a good idea with a bad cough - had nearly expired by the time I reached the top!

Have been very fed up at work lately so really tried to look for positives this weekend. Wanted to spend as much time as I could with my daughter - figured that as she is the reason I work part-time and term-time I should make the most of the times I have with her. We made a version of Debs pasta recipe with chicken, bacon and philadelphia. I really bigged it up - told her Debs had written it specially for her etc - and we both really enjoyed it. Sat down and all ate it together - no reading at the table (me) or watching TV (hubby and daughter). My daughter even cleared the table without being asked - unheard of. We then all went to the garden centre - let her choose 3 packs of seeds to grow - lettuce, carrots and onions. Hubby also decided to get some seed potatoes. The Good Life here we come! On Sunday I took the scenic route to my parents rather than going down the dual carriageway - it was lovely - sun shining, lambs in the fields, flowers growing. Took my daughters bike with us - so she rode her bike while granny and I did a very fast walk to keep up with her - tried to make it more interesting for her than just saying lets go for a walk - we took carrots to feed the horses and a bag to collect pine cones, leaves etc for a nature picture. Then came home again down the back roads - fantastic sunset - very little traffic on the country roads so could meander along and really appreciate it.
Have my meeting with my boss tomorrow - it was fed back to me today via my line manager that he is thinking of changing the structure again. I wasn't happy with the last structure proposal - (or the way it was presented to me!) - so hopefully will be able to persuade him to change it. Have dug out my assertiveness at work book - have never really needed it before - and read the chapter on being assertive upwards - so fingers crossed it all goes well tomorrow!

Feeling much better today although obviously still worried about work. The boss wants to see each team leader for half an hour next week and he will then publish the final structure at the end of the week. Will try and write down some of my thoughts/concerns this weekend to take in with me. Depending on the outcome I may then start looking at the vacancy list to see what other jobs are being advertised - that way I protect my 20 yrs of service but could do something different. Would like to get back into the education dept if I can - far more people orientated and far more accommodating of part time, term time work - where I am now I think they would prefer robots to people - incredibly bureaucratic. Anyway its the weekend so lets forget about work!
I haven't eaten healthily today but I haven't overate at meals either - although did subconciously eat some chocolate - honestly I wasn't even aware I'd done it - opened the cupboards looking for something and ate the chocolate that was there without even thinking. Note to self - don't have unhealthy food in house.
Also managed 30 mins walk in the rain - I'm starting to quite enjoy walking in the rain - never thought I'd say that.
Trying to look for positives today so:-
1) My two admin assts have been promoted to admin officers and are both really over the moon about it so happy for them
2) My change 4 life action plan came through this morning -daughter quite impressed that something has come through the post with her name on it - so hopefully will be able to put some of the recommendations in place. Out of 6 categories only got two greens, rest were red and amber so lots to work on
3) My new Liz Earle book - Skin Secrets came through the post today as well. I'm a massive fan of Liz Earle and the book is lovely - lots of beautiful pictures of flowers, sun sets, nature etc - very calming. The Isle of Wight where the Liz Earle company is based is my favourite UK holiday place so the book also reminds me of happy family holidays. Haven't had chance to look at it properly yet but there's sections on healthy eating, pampering, exercise and relaxation etc- all things I can use in conjunction with this programme. Also the calming pictures are something I can look at to relax when I haven't got the energy to do anything other than flop!
4) Something that made me laugh. One of the sections in the Liz Earle book is about caring for your skin during pregnancy - my daughter spotted a picture of a very pregnant belly - cue lots of questions. Had all this before of course but this time she wanted to know how the baby got in there - stumbled my way through it talking about love, planting a seed, baby growing. Anyway they must be doing about eggs/chicks at school for Easter so she said oh yes I know all about it we've been doing about baby chicks growing inside the egg and off she went. Not sure I haven't left her with the impression that I hatched her!!!!!!
Have a wonderful weekend and thanks again for your support - Bizzib xx

Had a really tough day. Went to a training session for team leaders on the new structure. Out of the blue the manager put up a slide which basically proposed that myself and another lady swapped so that we managed completely different teams and departments. I've supported the same department for almost 20 years - until last year worked in that dept until all the support services were moved out to one central area . My team have been with me for a long time -they are people that I've trained, developed, supported etc and they mean a lot to me. I don't have a problem with change - I've expressed concern about some changes but on the whole have accepted most of the new proposals so far and worked very hard to convince my team - but I don't see the point of change for the sake of change - why take two team leaders who both have years of experience, knowledge, contacts etc and make them start from scratch. The worst thing was that when we both said we weren't happy he made us come up with an argument on the spot as to why it wouldn't work in front of everyone else in the room. Very humiliating. If he had spoken to me about it in his office I would have been fine it was the way it was done in front of everyone else that upset me. I feel in a way that threatening me with proposal no 2 is his way of stopping me from voicing my concerns about proposal no 1. These concerns were mainly the fact that my workload is the same as other team leaders who are full-time whereas I am the only part-time team leader. The problem is that there are very few part-time jobs at my level in the organisation I work for so difficult to look for another job and I don't want to go somewhere new and give up my 20 years service in the current climate. Will wait and see what happens - may start keeping an eye on vacancies at work to see what's out there.
The programme went out the window at work I'm afraid but I did get it back together by evening. Had a bit of a cry (again) - find it hard to deal wih the emotion rather than block it out with food - but I did it. Also did some deep breathing so feel better. Going to have an early night tonight so apologies for not replying to peoples blogs - will try and catch up soon.

Had a pretty good day today. Managed to stay calm at work despite my managers challenging behaviour - had to go into work today for a meeting that she had cancelled twice and then re-arranged on my day off! She was 15 minutes late,spent the next 10 mins telling me what an awful morning she had had and then told me she would have to go in 40 mins (should have been an hours meeting) as she had another meeting to go to. I was determined to have my say - I've never talked so fast in my life!!! - anyway upshot is that she is supposed to be getting me a temp - time will tell. Despite this managed to eat slowly and not be tempted by the catering trolley. Went supermarket shopping on the way home - this is usually a Friday night job after work when I'm starving so it was nice to be able to take time to look at labels etc. I've had a 'card' through from the British Heart Foundation that you can take shopping with you it tells you what to look for on labels for fat, sugar etc - found it really useful. Lots of things I'm buying that are low fat but high in sugar so need to re-think some things. Picked up a pizza that was on special offer - not for me (honest guv!) for my hubby/daughter - one of the ingredients was mixed cheese flavour analogue - what on earth is that - certainly not food!! Needless to say didn't buy it - bought a pizza base instead and will put my own ingredients on. Bought some bruschettine and oatcakes instead of crisps so feeling quite pleased that I've found some alternatives - normally don't have time to look.
Have also started writing some of the key points from Pete's videos in a notebook - finding that really useful to refer to - often can't get on the computer because hubby or daughter are on. Tempted to have pudding tonight but read my notes about 'do you like it enough to wear it' and didn't have any - result!

Lots of little testing things today - difficult phone calls, manager cancelled meeting for the fourth time, lots of questions about the re-organisation at work from my team for which I have no answers because need to see manager who keeps cancelling to get answers!!!!! At one point it was nearly hyperventilating rather than deep breathing but managed to stay off the food most of the time - another few cubes of green and blacks but seeing as I felt like having a few bars at the time think I did quite well overall. Despite the wind and rain still went out for lunchtime walk - even had someone to walk with. Got to go into work tomorrow - normally my day off - know I must be careful will be too easy to feel fed up and turn to the choccies. Hope everyone has had a good day - bizzib xx

Had a better day today. Worked through my 'to do' list at work - concentrated on one thing at a time rather than being overwhelmed by the number of things on it- helped to keep stress levels down - which in turn meant that I managed to resist the lure of the catering trolley - yay!
Had a white roll for lunch as tesco's had sold out of wholemeal rolls when I did my shopping last week - hadn't really noticed that my taste buds were changing - BUT it was awful - like eating cotton wool!
Tempted to miss my lunchtime walk - I've got a bad sore throat/cough and it was windy and drizzling outside. Didn't really want to go but forced myself out and felt much better for being out in the (very!) fresh air.
Also ate slowly for all my meals. Had one chunk of Green and Blacks after my eve meal - now I know I should be telling you that it tasted awful but I'll be honest it was delicious BUT I really tasted and savoured it - and because of that one chunk was enough rather than devouring half a bar and not tasting or appreciating it.Not sure that I've turned the corner yet but I no longer feel like I'm going backwards.

It never fails to amaze me how much support everyone gives each other thru these blogs - its great to be on the receiving end of it - so thank you.
Have tried very hard to slow down today - to relax, eat slowly, not to stress etc. Have also tried to stop being a perfectionist - cleaned the bits of the house that were dirty rather than cleaning all of it, really behind with letters to friends so sent them all an e-mail telling them I was thinking of them and apologising for not writing and only ironed the clothes that people see (hope it doesn't get hot this week!). Have also bought a large notebook - its all pastels with butterflies and flowers on it - made me think of spring - and have jotted a few key points down from the programme calendar videos - that way when I can't get on the computer which happens a lot I can look things up in my notebook to keep me on track.
Tomorrow when I'm back at work will be my real test of not getting stressed. Out of my team of 10, 1 left on Friday, 2 are signed off with stress, 3 are on holiday, 3 including myself were feeling unwell - lots of coughs and colds going round the office. So there is the potential for it all to go horribly wrong tomorrow. I wil try and remember everyones advice to do my deep breathing, walk at lunchtime and let some other people share the stress. Will let you know how I get on.

Firstly thank you for all the support and advice yet again. Had a quieter day today - at last. Feeling a bit under the weather - developed a real hacking cough and feel tired - I think its my body's way of telling me to slow down so for once I'm going to listen to it. I'm finding that I do well at the weekends but then lose it when I'm at work - so need to address this. Its strange because everyone I work with tells me that they find me a very calming influence to work with - and yet often this isn't how I feel - maybe I need to let the emotions out
Something weird has just happended - I just wrote the sentence above about letting the emotions out and then burst into tears. I wasn't even feeling sad when I wrote it - I admit I'm the world's worst when it comes to sad films etc but I never ever cry over my own emotions - you don't when you have kids do you - you keep it together. God its powerful stuff this blogging isn't it? Just had a big cuddle from my husband - he must think I'm going mad. Luckily my daughter is at a sleepover so she's not around to see mum losing it either.
Anwyay before I got waylaid - I was going to say I need to let the emotions out instead of putting the food in, I was thinking about work - I try to protect everyone in my team but by doing so I think I'm putting myself under too much stress. I work 26 hrs a week and last week I was covering over 100+ hours myself - I need to share it out more - have been asking for some temp help for weeks now but no luck. I'm going to do the best I can and if it goes belly up, it goes belly up - its not my fault - I've told my managers the situation and they have taken the decision not to employ any additional staff - I need to stop taking on the responsibilities of the people above me.
Anyway the plan is - eat slowly and keep exercising - when I feel better will take on more tools. Practice Pete's advice to breathe slowly. I may not be able to say what I think in a work situation but I can take myself off to the bathroom for a few minutes - say what I would like to say in my head and do some deep breathing - and most importantly stay away from the food. Maybe I should just take myself off to the bathroom when the catering trolley appears - lol!
Isn't it strange how you feel so much better after a bit of a blub - I'm hoping this blog is the turning point - time will tell.
Hope everyone has a good weekend and thanks once again for all the support. When I'm on Stage 4 and a stone lighter (lol again!) I'll be able to tell all my fellow bloggers about this bad patch I went thru and how I turned it around - here's hoping!
I know I'm going to be soooo embarassed about this blog tomorrow so I'm going to hit the save key now before I think about it too much.

Have had a really stressful week at work - very short staffed - and March and April are our busiest times - plus reorganisation looming. Feel like I'm doing everything at 100 mph. Today I had 4 people's e-mail in boxes open on my computer that I was trying to clear -and reply to - by the end of the day I tell you I didn't know who I was , where I was or what I was - oh you have to laugh or you'd cry. Annoyed with myself that I'm turning to food as stress relief - I'm not too bad at home but badly comfort eating at work - we have a catering trolley that comes round at work and at the moment everyone just dives in and buys crisps, cakes, chocolates etc. I don't think their profits have ever been so good. I'm taking healthy food with me but then getting stressed and buying chocolate at work - and the stupid thing is I know it doesn't help. I need to figure out a way to deal with stress at work without turning to food - all the things that I would do at home - exercise, blogging, housework etc - you can't do those when you're stuck at a desk. If anyone has found anything that has worked for them at work pls let me know.
I've got quite a lot on this weekend but I'm hoping if I do get a few minutes to myself to try and look through the tools and then might start on day 1 again. Will I ever get to Stage 4!
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend - apologies that I haven't been replying to many blogs - will have to try and have a look thru this weekend

The last couple of days have been crazy at work - have been having to work late so no time to do blogs. (thanks for your note Debs - I was really touched that you'd missed me!). We have a major reorganisation at work in April so have been told all current work must be cleared by end of March - absolutely no chance - the backlogs are there because like most places too much work and not enough people. Everyone feeling very pressured - low morale and lots of people upset about the changes in April. Todays my day off and had a text to say that 2 people in my team are off with stress - not surprising - so now I'm going to have to ask my team to cover even more work - not looking forward to tomorrow as you can imagine.
Food and exercise wise - have still managed to fit in my lunchtime walks - finding it really helps - we all let off steam and have a bit of a moan - quite funny - the faster and louder we moan the quicker we walk - so there are some positives. Struggling food wise - its hard to work like a maniac and remember to eat slowly - trying to remember and trying to slow down as much as I can on meals at thome.
Have a really(and I mean really!) bad joke for you - just remember that we are desperate people at work and even the poorest joke cheers us up at the moment.
Two brooms meet, fall in love and decide to get married. After the ceremony the girl broom whispers to the boy broom - I think we have a little baby broom on the way. That's not possible - he says - we haven't even....(grit your teeth)... swept together yet - have you been sweeping around!
Told you it was bad - have fun - BizziB xx

I just want to say a massive, massive thank you for the support and encouragement that people have given me this weekend - it has made a big difference. I seem to be doing a lot of taking and not much giving at the moment so will have to try and reverse that (she says knowing full well that my chances of even getting to read the blogs let alone comment on them today is virtually nil - still theres always tomorrow -my favourite phrase at the moment!)
Yesterday I focussed on just eating slowly and stopping when I was full and it seemed to work - I think thats definitely the way to go -so thanks for your advice on that. Nearly wobbled at the party yesterday - Wasn't so much a party as it turned out more of a get together in a pub. I wasn't looking forward to it as I knew I was unlikely to know anyone there plus I was driving so couldn't drink. Really enjoyed the first couple of hours - had one drink and saw someone that I used to go to school with so enjoyed catching up with her news. But then it got to 10.30 - my friend left and I was left in the company of a load of drunk blokes talking about football, my back was killing me from standing and wearing heels, no music in the pub and the only thing on the big screen was ......Match of the Day. I knew there was a buffet and it was screaming at me - it would give me something to do, get me out of listening to boring football etc - BUT I remembered all your comments and resisted - so thank you, thank you, thank you! By 11.30 my back and my boredom levels were so bad that rigamortis had virtually set in and by midnight I finally persuaded hubby to leave -they were still talking about football even then.
Today I read Pete's chapter on health and fitness while having breakfast - I know you're not supposed to read and eat but I can't fit everything in otherwise - and have listened to Pete's podcast with Lucy Anne while doing my housework. Hope you're all having a good weekend - BizziB xx

Why am I struggling so much with this at the moment - its driving me mad. I really thought I'd got the hang of this before I went to York but I don't seem to be able to get back into the swing of things.
So I'm going to go back to basics. Think I'm going to have another look thru the tools again and re-read the chapter on health and fitness in Pete's book and then just start with the eating slowly and 30 mins walking. Once I'm back on track with that then I'll add some more tools in.
Hope everyone has a great weekend - BizziB xxx

Started off well. Porridge with dried apricots for breakfast and walked the school run rather than taking the car. Wholemeal tuna roll, cherry tomatoes and a banana for lunch. Had my lunch early about 11.30 because I had a 12 noon meeting and I didn't want to get over hungry. Meeting over ran until 2.30 so no break and no lunchtime walk. Next meeting started at 3.30 and went on until 5pm.
The evening had been meticulously planned. The plan had been for me to leave work at 4.30 so that I could get home for 5.15, hubby was then going to drs for 5.20 while I cooked the mince for spag bol, then I was going to drop my daughter at brownies for 6 pm, meet my husband at school for parents evening at 6.10, come home cook pasta and eat dinner and then pick daughter up for 7.30.
Well - I got caught in traffic so didn't get in until nearly 6 plus realised had forgotten to get mince out of freezer. Raced to brownies, raced to school where met husband who was in a bad mood because he'd waited for nearly an hour but still hadn't got in. Parents evening was running late so had to go straight to Brownies when we got out. Absolutely starving as hadn't eaten since 11.30 - brownies is next door to chip shop and well ..... you can see where this is going! I ate so much, didn't even enjoy it, didn't even really taste it I ate it so fast and now I feel completely stodged. Oh well tomorrow is another day.
Had to laugh today - all my loyalty cards etc must have updated for me being 40 and since I've been back from York so far I've had a voucher or sample for - wrinkle filler, wrinkle repair, firming moisturiser, anti ageing moisturiser, anti ageing eye cream, age spot hand cream and firming body lotion -talk about (literally) rubbing it in!