Weight Loss Journals - petecohen.tv

This is my last blog for a few weeks as my membership expires tomorrow and there's no point in me renewing it just yet as Ramadan starts in 2 weeks.

This journey has been a very personal experience and on the whole I don't talk about this programme in much detail with friends and family. I have however made some really significant changes to my life in terms of what I eat and how I exercise and from time to time I talk about those changes.

In some ways, I felt slightly isolated from some of the female members of the family when growing up. My mother, sister and the aunt I am closest to look quite different from me. They have straight hair and I have crazy curls. They have really slim legs and small hips and I have an hourglass figure. They are all fair and I am much darker. They are all quite slim and tend to lose weight when stressed. I am much bigger and tend to comfort eat when stressed. They are much shorter than I am. I use to wish I looked "different" but now I recognise that we all look attractive in our different ways. I haven't really talked about this programme with them as I didn't think they would identify with my weight loss journey although they are all supportive about the changes they observe.

One thing I have really become quite passionate about is checking the labels on what I eat - I feel quite strongly that if I buy chocolate then I know it will have sugar in and I make a conscious decision to eat that sugar. What annoys me is when that sugar can be found in meats; takeaways; readymade vegetable dishes. I pointed out to my mother once that her favourite chicken wings from the supermarket have sugar, brown sugar, honey and molasses in - each is separately listed but when you think about it, that's a lot of sugar. I don't really go on about it much as I believe that everyone has a choice and just bacause I feel strongly about it, doesn't mean that they have to.

But it seems that my family have been quietly listening and been quietly feeling as horrified as I do. Shopping is taking longer as they keep checking food labels. My mother admits she doesn't want her favourite chicken wings anymore.....my aunt has been looking at the sugar content of food she buys....my brother chose to eat some leftover chicken I had marinated in a homemade sauce the other day rather than eating processed chicken from the supermarket...my mother keeps talking about how disgusted she is about the amount of sugar in food...we went to a farm shop recently and my brother picked up some jars near the till and said really loudly that the contents were mostly sugar.....we are eating less and less processed food....my aunt and I have been swapping ideas for healthy snacks....we do the bulk of our shopping in local butchers and grocers

I feel so proud - this programme has had a bigger impact than on just my life. And it has again shaken my perception of myself - I was a little taken aback that people are listening to my views as I imagined that they would dismiss my views on nutrition - after all I am the one who has always struggled to lose weight.

Having more fruit and vegetables, checking the labels on food, eating less processed foods, trying new recipes, trying to buy as much local produce as possible - the wider effects of this programme are rippling through my family. The best part - we all seem to be enjoying it.

I'll be back in September

Have felt quite unsettled over the last few days - things remain as uncertain as ever on the job front. The fact that lots of balls are up in the air has just made me feel quite anxious and I have been picking at unhealthy foods but interspersed with eating some really great healthy food. I have continued to exercise regularly in an attempt to keep my mind quiet.

It has been so wet up here for days that none of us have wanted to go round all the local food shops. Bit of a disaster last night when I roasted some chicken which had been marinated in chilli and mustard and which I was going to serve with salad only to discover that we had eaten nearly all the salad! Today is dull but dry so will definitely have to venture out for a food shop plus I have a spinning class and bodypump class to go to tonight.

I usually buy a "cheat" meal everytime I do a supermarket shop online which is basically one of the processed meal deals which I then serve to the family when I can't be bothered to cook. I don't do many supermarket shops these days so we don't have them very often. We had one to use up yesterday - I don't think any of us enjoyed it. Whilst I was cooking it, I was marinating the chicken for the evening and I just thought that it is crazy buying processed foods when I can throw together a marinade in 5 minutes and every time I taste processed foods now, all I can think is how my food tastes so much better! I find my home cooked food makes me feel so much more satisfied and I often don't feel like snacking afterwards. I think it's the end of the cheat meals for me.

Anyway my membership ends in the next few days so I have decided to take a break as it is Ramadan next month and I won't be following the programme during that month. The fast is going to be long this year. It's interesting though - at the moment I am picking at unhealthy foods and yesterday I felt like I have no will power. Whilst Ramadan is undoubtedly tough, one of the biggest issues I face is that most of my friends and family aren't Muslim and therefore I will often see them eating and drinking but something in me just switches off and I am not tempted at all. And my body goes into survuval mode. It's as if it recognises that since it can only eat food on a limited basis, that food has to be healthy. So my intake of sweet food is usually minimal and the food I eat is probably the most healthy food I eat all year! I am not saying eating in that way is good for your body in the long term but it shows me what I am capable of when I put my mind to it. I have seen articles in magazines in the Middle East which give guidance on how not to put on weight during Ramadan - I don't know how anyone can put on weight - I battle to get enough food into me when I can eat so that I have enough energy for the next day

So I will check when my membership ends and try and blog before then but otherwise I will be back blogging after Eid! Will still be reading blogs though

The last week seems quite surreal. I picked up a stomach bug early in the week which made me feel a little washed out. I ended up eating more carbs than normal and had to reduce the exercise. It felt good to be listening to what my body wanted and not feeling guilty for doing so. Realised at the end of the week that I had still managed 3 pilates classes, 1 spinning class and 1 swim in a week where I had reduced my exercise.

I can see how much stronger my body is becoming in pilates. Exercises that use to feel tough are now easy. It is changing my core strength and strengthening my mind.

Things seem to be improving on the job front. All of a sudden, lots of job opportunities have come on the market. I deccided not to go for an interview for a job I felt wasn't what I wanted. ILate in the week I was asked to go for an interview on Friday for a job in East Anglia which sounds really interesting (although the 11 hours of travelling by train in one day was slightly exhausting!). Will hear on Monday whether they are interested in offering it to me. If I don't get it, there will be other opportunities.

The old comfort eating resurfaced on my way back from the interview. It's in the past and I don't feel guilt but I recognise that tackling comfort eating continues to be a work in progress.

Met Kat, Mandie and Mandie's husband in Manchester for lunch yesterday. It was lovely to catch up with them all again. Both Mandie and Kat were glowing. There is a serene vibe that comes off Mandie. Serene but warm. She made me feel calmer just sitting with her! And it is always touching to see how much she and her husband adore each other. I hope that if I meet someone special, we have the same affection for each other that Mandie and her husband clearly have for each other. And on reflection Kat oozes that childlike quality that Pete talked about in the online session last week. She tells stories with a giggle in her voice that is infectious and she derives so much pleasure from life - she had been flying kites the day before. She makes you smile when talking to her. I would describe Kat as having a thirst for life - she seems to love trying new things, meeting new people and having new experiences. It feels slightly surreal meeting people you have only met a handful of times but who know you so well through the blogs. A very enjoyable afternoon.

Had a "fat" moment when I caught sight of myself in the mirror during pilates yesterday morning. Just seemed to be lumps and bumps everywhere. When the duck had shut up, I reflected that my shape just looks distorted as my tracksuit bottoms were a size too big and my top was 2 sizes too big. So I picked up a size 14 t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms in M&S. I realised they would be too small at the moment, but I wanted them in to spur me on to get into them. But having just tried them on, they fit now. Was slightly speechless about 2 items of clothing that cost £15. I kept looking at my reflection in the mirror in the same way you would with an expensive dress. This is usually where I self-sabotage (as I did last year when I realised I had dropped down a size). This is scary and exciting and somehow I know I am in a stronger place this year - a place where achieving my dreams is not something to be threatened by.

So on reflection, a strange but fulfilling week!

I went for a great swim yesterday - worked on my upper and lower body by using the float. I think one of the best investments I made was an underwater mp3 player as I don't get bored in the pool.

Headed to pilates in the evening and realised my tracksuit bottoms are falling off me! I need to get a size smaller. This will be the third set of gym clothes I have had to buy since January - which means I have dropped two dress sizes. It feels great but I am not focusing on it too much - when I focus on the number on the label, I sometimes feel overwhelmed and then start self-sabotaging! But I realised last night that I need to buy a smaller size as my gym clothes are just shapeless now and I feel more motivated when I can actually see my figure - plus I am not sure people are ready for the sight of my tracksuit falling down.

Ate smaller portions yesterday thanks to the smaller plate. Am not feeling deprived though which is great.

Am off to a lovely tearoom this afternoon - am looking forward to it. There's a place for everything in my life including the odd piece of cake (if I fancy it!). Then have booked into spinning tonight - now there's a reason not to eat too much cake - spinning is tough enough as it is without being filled with too much unhealthy food!

Here's what I am noticing:

That the change in exercise is doing my body good - I can feel it becoming fitter and more toned. I don't enjoy everything I am trying - I have struggled to get into spinning - but I love the buzz that comes after pushing myself. Each type of exercise I do makes me feel different - pilates relaxes me; my swimming time is for contemplation; zumba makes me smile; spinning makes me sweat and dogwalking is for singing to my ipod walking round the village.

I no longer read blogs about different types of exercise and wish that I could do it. I am more than capable of doing most types of exercise now and I don't allow my mind to put limitations on what my body can do. I may not be able to do certain types of exercise for practical reasons (e.g. they don't offer those classes locally) or for physical reasons (my knees couldn't handle it). But I recognise that I can do so much more than I previously realised.

Eating off a small plate is particularly helpful for reducing portion sizes. It makes me more aware of the size of portion I am serving and it makes me think about whether I want seconds. I tend to need more snacks but I don't feel bloated and lethargic.

On the rare occasions I eat cheap chocolate and processed foods, it make me feel sick/bloated/lethargic and often give me stomach cramps.

Don't leave the remnants of cheap chocolate near the dog - it doesn't seem to do her any good either although she gobbled it down quick enough!

Somedays I am exceptional; somedays I eat unhealthy foods; most days feel like I am somewhere inbetween. But no matter whether I am exceptional or not, my instinct is always to come back to the programme

After a year on this programme, most habits feel ingrained. I don't feel like I am on a diet/deprived/that I want it to end. I am not even sure I know what I want my end result to be. I am enjoying the programme and to select an outcome feels like this will end at some point (which is what would happen if I was calorie counting or cutting out carbs etc). But it won't ever end, it's part of my life now. It's hard to explain but my intention is to just carry on at this pace and not aim for something in the future. I am not saying that I don't want to become fitter and healthier but just that I don't want to put my life on hold and presume that it will be "better" when I reach that point.

My tracksuits are getting looser and sliding down my hips. I dressed up on Saturday night and wore a cardigan that use to be tight - it is now slipping off my shoulders. Even my sandals were loose and I kept falling out of them as my feet don't swell as they use to. All these changes are tiny - I must be loosing a couple of inches here and there. But I notice them.

There is sugar in so many foods. Looking at labels is a real eye-opener. It shocks me how simple foods are filled with sugar.

I am really enjoying having the time to cook simple but healthy meals. Yesterday I had a brunch of buckwheat pancake with strawberries and blueberries and drizzled with honey. In the afternnoon I cooked a delicious meal of Cumbrian beef, yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes, sweet potatoes, shallots, roasted carrots with fresh thyme from the garden and green beens. I loved every mouthful - particularly because I knew what I was eating had all been freshly made.

I have been quietly chugging along. Have stepped up my exercise programme gradually so I have been to 3 pilates classes, 2 spinning classes, 2 zumba classes, 3 swimming sessions this week as well as walking the dog every day. I have enjoyed the exercise- although it seems quite a lot when I write it down, it has just felt natural.

Someone commented today on how I was fit. It still takes me aback even though when I read through what I have done this week, I know it's true. I challenge myself all the time to be fitter and to try different types of exercise. What thows me slightly is that for most of my life I have attached a label of "fat" to myself and I still assume that is how others see me. So when someone attaches a positive label to me, it feels great but it also takes me by surprise. If I am honest, it also feels slightly scary to change those labels even though the change is all good.

I haven't been as exceptional with eating healthily but I am still eating well and listening to my body. I had a pilates class followed by zumba this morning and ate some fruit on the way home. Pottered round the local shops - have bought some lovely Cumbrian beef to do a roast tomorrow and found something called Romanesque cauliflower which is grown in Lancashire, so had to buy some to try - I think the nutritional programme has really made me look at what I am buying in terms of trying new foods; looking a labels and looking for local foods. I just love pottering round the shops buying local produce.

When I got home, I was starving and really fancied omelette with grilled tomato and mushrooms. Had a coffee this afternoon and realised I fancied a biscuit. I don't usually fancy biscuits with coffee (probably because I only have 1 cup of coffee and it's usually earlier in the morning). Anyway, went on a biscuit hunt in the house and all I could find was some out of date digestives which went in the bin! We are eating far fewer unhealthy foods so when I fancy any, I can't find any! We use to have far more junk in the house. Had to settle for a couple of squares of 85% dark chocolate instead. But I enjoyed it.

I am enjoying it all - the exercise, the healthy food and - finally - the relaxation.

Have eaten out at least once a day for the last 5 days. Each occasion has been spontaneous. Don't want to cpmplain as I have been treated to most of the meals so don't wish to be ungrateful

BUT I have realised that: I actually prefer most of the meals I make at home - they are just much more healthy and I feel much lighter; I have been leaving food when full (this is unheard of!); I have been regularly ordering just one course; when eating at a Chinese restaurant recently I had soup and a main course with steamed and a side order of vegetables - ate most of the soup. some rice, all the vegetables and only a little of my main course - I prefered the vegetables to anything else. I have been leaving restaurants not feeling bloated. In fact yesterday we went for afternoon tea and I shared a portion for one person with my aunt and we left about a third of it. I just had a taste of everything.

The real downside from eating out is how it provokes the urge to pick at unhealthy foods later on when I get hungry again. Have stocked up on some humous to eat later with vegetables if I get hungry.

I feel so pleased though that I am developing a healthy relationship with the food I eat, whether I eat in or out - judging what I want based on what I fancy and not on perceptions of what is "good" or "bad"; stopping when I am full; not ordering too much and not treating each meal as if it's the last one I'll ever eat.

But enough of eating out - have pak choi; spinach; watercress and many other vegetables in the fridge calling my name. I didn't think I would ever get to the point where I would prefer eating in to eating out!

Other than that though am continuing nicely with my balance of healthy foods, exercise and rest. Had a pilates class followed by zumba yesterday and will go for a swim this evening.

Have been continuing in the no pressure, not thinking, no analysing vein. Nothing is forbidden and I don't have to do anything I don't want to. Have been a little worried about work - the budget cuts may impact on the work I do and things have gone quiet for the moment but am focusing on living in the here and now and not worrying about the future.

But of course I have found that once it's entirely my choice as to what I do, I have done the following since Saturday: spinning 2 days in a row, interval training in the pool, walking both with and without the dog and pilates. My body is really toning up - I can see and feel the difference.

Plus I have to shout this: I LOVE FOOD! Especially at this time of year: the cherries, berries and watermelons, barbecues with salad; anything with salad to be honest. I am enjoying expermenting with cooking (I think this is helped by the fact my mother is still on a zimmer frame and so is out of the kitchen most of the time - we tend to bicker in the kitchen). I am not cooking anything complicated but I have enjoyed trying new recipes with foods from my top 20 list from my nutritional profile. Have added more white fish to my diet and love it. Even tried grapefruit the other day as it's on my list - still not convinced why anyone would choose to eat it but have bought another one to see if it becomes any more palatable.

It just feels nicely balanced - I am exercising as and when my body likes it, I am eating smaller portions but still feel satisfied (one of the downsides of enjoying my own cooking was I initially felt bloated as I enjoyed it too much); I am trying different combinations and nothing is forbidden. We will probably have pizza tonight as there is one in the fridge to be used up and it's an easy tea for me to make after I've been to pilates. But whereas I use to eat most of the pizza myself, I will probably have about a quarter and serve my portion with lots of salad.

I have just been ignoring the tool to reduce sugar as I don't want to force anything. However, realised that without thinking about it I have cut down sugar over the last 2 days and yesterday I only had 2 squares of 85% dark chocolate. No sugar today but had a gorgeous sweet mango after lunch.

There is a local fishmonger (who has changed over the years and so is only evern known as the fishman) who drives between the villages and I spotted his van today whilst walking the dog so I ran home to get some money and then found him parked in the ground of our business. Found out my brother has an account with him so happily indulged in fresh cod, seabass, prawns and fresh crab. Must remember to thank my brother for treating me! It made me smile though - once I use to run after ice-cream man when I heard his bell and now I chase the fishman instead.....

As promised, here's the summary of tonights session.

1. We had a little recap about the importance of drinking water and why it's one of the most important tools

2. Had a quick recap about why we shouldn't view food as bad or good or allow it to define how our day has been (e.g. had a "bad" day yesterday because I ate chocolate) but view it in terms of what it gives us nutritionally. Briefly discussed how it is important to have balance and whilst we don't want to just eat unhealthy foods, equally it's important not to go to the other extreme and never eat out etc.

3. Discussion of FEAR and negative thoughts. Pete said FEAR was False Evidence Appearing Real but when most people experienced it, it became Forget Everything And Run. Apparently we have up to 15,000 thoughts per day and most of those thoughts are similar to previous days, so Pete suggested we focused on positive thoughts (or shutting the duck up as it's known!).

4. Discussion of Interval Training and how important it can be for helping you lose weight - much more effective than cardio training as you continue to feel the benefits after you have stopped exercising. Plus your body quickly gets use to exercise which is why it's important to challenge it with interval training. You can do interval training in short bursts and even incorporate it into walking programme if you want.

5. Brief mention of deep breathing and how we don't do it enough. Think we will be discussing it in next session

6. Pete asked us to post our comments on the session on weight loss guru and also watch 2 videos (I think he will put the links in a blog).

We need to continue with drinking water; not viewing foods as "good" or "bad" and doing interval training

Hope this summary is accurate - I get so caught up with thinking about something that has been said, that I miss the next part!

Firstly a big thank you for all the comments on my last blog - all that support really touched me.

I didn't know how to get myself out of the rut of worrying that I had got trapped in. So I decided that I was just not going to think about anything and that included the programme. I decided to just do what my instincts told me and if that meant I wobbled or collapsed, so be it. I have been reading a book about challenging negative thoughts and everytime one popped in my head, I challenged it.

And of course I didn't wobble or collapse in every sense. I have been sleeping well, exercising well, eating well, reading novels, watching dvds, sitting in the sun, walking the dog, had a bbq, went for a manicure, went out for Sunday lunch at a local pub and l have been lazing on the balcony. As my head started to clear of negative thoughts, it created space for positive ones and proactive ideas. So even though I wasn't "thinking" about the programme, I bought the vitamins for the nutritional programme and have been drinking the teas as well.

I was also really pleased to notice that when I gave myself "permission" to wobble, I didn't take it - my body loves the nourishing, healthy food and exercise too much.

I feel much better. I am still continuing in the same vein of "not thinking" about what I do as I feel slightly fragile but I feel stronger.

Interestingly, I am now wearing a jumper in a size medium that was too small a month ago and can now fit into some jeans that I couldn't do up a month ago - I realised that I had thought they were a bigger size than they actually were.

I won't pretend that I master every tool perfectly but instead of thinking about whether or not I should have an ice-cream, if I have felt like having one, I have eaten it but more importantly I have enjoyed the freedom of sitting in the sun whilst eating it. And I decided I would only exercise when I felt like it. So although I haven't made all my usual exercise sessions, over the last week I felt like going to 2 pilates classes, 1 swim, 1 zumba class and 2 50 minutes walks as well as walking the dog on a daily basis.

I am not going to push myself to achieve more on the programme at the moment. My aim is to feel like my life has some balance and that I am relaxing. Actually, I suspect that finding that balance is the key to becoming slimmer and fitter for me.

I've felt quite lost over the last few days. I have been quite unhappy and demotivated.

Wobbled quite a bit. But interspersed with exercise and healthy foods! So I don't feel too bad physically, I just don't feel great.

Pete's happiness video got me thinking. And have watched some other videos on similar subjects that were on the internet. Found it interesting. One question that was raised was do we really need a job to make us happy? Of course not - but it's interesting about how I allow work to define me.

Joined the online course last night - earlier in the evening, I felt too apathetic to participate and then I just squashed the duck back into the box. Am glad I did. I always get something out of the online courses.

It looks like the Egypt plans might have to be put back slightly. Felt quite low about this but have rationalised this - what's 6 months in the scheme of things.

Told my family I felt quite low - they have been really lovely. My brother went to my favourite greengrocers yesterday and brought me back bags of cherries and apples. He had even picked out my favourite British strawberries (I use to have favourite brands of chocolates - now I have favourite varieties of British strawberries!)

I already drink lots of water - hate the feeling when I am dehydrated. So the only question I need to ask myself today is do I want it or do I need it.

Have started reading again - I had forgotten the pleasures of reading a great novel.

Will blog this before I forget what was discussed:

1. Pete asked how people had got on drinking more water. He said it was one of the most important tools - we can't live without drinking water. He encouraged us to keep working at that tool, if you feel you haven't mastered it yet.

2. We are all going to start Day 1 together tomorrow no matter how many times you have seen the videos

3. We had a brief pause to go and watch the video on happiness on the weight loss guru site. We had a brief discussion of what we thought happiness was.

4. He encouraged us to focus on eating what we need as opposed to what we want this week e.g. we don't "need" chocolate. Or if there's another tool that you feel you need to work on, focus on that.

5. He suggested that we view the next 6 weeks as a rehersal for a performance - we would all practice for a real performance and in the same way, we should practice at using the tools

6. He encouraged us to blog regularly.

Hope I haven't forgotten anything and hope this helps!

My mother told me yesterday that I looked "better". When I asked her how I looked better, she reflected for a moment and came up with "less harassed". I was hoping for slimmer or fitter but I guess that looking less harassed is just as important!

I am starting to realise though that I have become quite reclusive over the last few months. Some of it was necessary - I wanted to reduce the "toxic" element to my life i.e. those friends that I regarded as "dementors" in that they sucked the good mood and energy from me. But I've probably gone too far the other way. One of my best friends rang me from Germany the other day and we had a lovely chat. I realised two things - firstly that in withdrawing from some of my closest friends, I lose their valuable support/contribution/ideas - just chatting about future plans with my friend gave me some different ideas. Secondly, I miss socialising with some of my friends. Things are harder to arrange from Cumbria but not impossible - so I am going to organise a few things to look forward to.

I fluctuate between having being able to increasingly exert myself with my exercise (private training session tonight followed by a spinning class - I managed to cycle standing up for a few seconds - twice!! Achievement!) but there are also periods of utter exhaustion - the nutritional programme suggests having a lie down for 10 minutes a couple of times per day. I managed a 90 minute sleep this afternoon! I think the exercise is helping me sleep better and helps relax me but I continue to listen to what my body has to tell me. Am heading to Manchester on Friday and will pick up some of the vitamins and teas from my nutritional profile - I think they helped a great deal with energy levels when I was taking them a few months ago.

But part of me is getting slightly bored which means it's time to get out there and start reintegrating with society again. After all, it must be time to wear clothes other than a tracksuit.....

I am such a contradiction - I have done some amazing exercise sessions over the last few days and I love the feeling that comes from a good workout (as much as I love my pilates sessions, it doesn't give that same exercise high). I have also had some lovely meals with lots of salad. I have been eating unsalted nuts between exercise sessions and sprinkled pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and toasted pine nuts on each salad. I have been body brushing and drinking lots of water.

But I have also been allowing myself to get wound up with fears that I won't find work again swiftly - I guess it's the curse of the self-employed. You either push yourself to make sure you have lots of work but when you get a chance to have a break from work, you worry that you won't find anymore! And when I get wound up, I comfort eat. It's not excessive but it's something I need to focus on. But as someone commented on one of my blogs the other day - we are all human!

I used the wii fit yesterday as I wanted to do some balancing exercises. I haven't used it for a while and did the body test which told me I have lost 4 pounds since I last used it (which must be a couple of months ago). Obviously it's going in the right direction but I feel curiously detached from the whole process of listening to what the scales say. Losing 4 pounds does not convey the joy I have felt from managing to jog a mile; practising my jogging; trying new foods; balancing for the first time on the wobble board whilst lifting weights; managing to do the plank for 100 seconds; taking the plunge and doing some military fitness classes; and so much more. So 4 pounds weight loss is great but I have achieved far more in the last few months than just lose those pounds.

Onwards and upwards!

I feel a bit stuck. The problem is that many of my healthy habits are quite ingrained and so I do them without thinking: aside from a small cup of coffee in the morning, I rarely drink anything other than water during the day; I usually exercise for at least an hour per day except on my rest day; I walk the dog for a minimum of 30 minutes per day; I frequently walk for at least 50 minutes; I eat loads of fruit and quite a lot of vegetables; I eat a minimum amount of bread and cows dairy.

So I think I am eating healthily and I am when compared with the person I was a year ago. But I am also still eating too much sugar and eating too quickly. Plus I have sunk into a comfort zone with exercise

I expected to make greater progress with this programme when I finished work but I haven't. So I am going to set myself some small goals:

(1) to eat slowly
(2) to do at least 3 sessions of cardio per week. One session is to be spinning. But I don't really sweat at spinnning as at the moment as my knees don't allow me to push myself. So I am going to do at least 2 early morning jog/walks per week. I will start off small and then aim to build it up.
(3) I have signed up for the monthly subscription on the nutrititional programme and I have completed another profile. I need to buy the vitamins and teas but I will focus on eating more of the top 20 foods. until I get to the shops. Some of them I have been eating fairly regularly anyway - mushrooms, asparagus, spinach and some of them I use to eat but they had fallen off my radar - pumpkin seeds and nuts. Some of them are firmly on my dislike list - grapefruit and calves liver BUT I will give them a go!
(4) Reduce sugar - I don't want to eliminate it completely but I do want to significantly reduce my intake. I hardly ever eat cake anymore and I probably have a coke every 6 months due to this programme so I want to get to a similar position where I don't eat so much chocolate.

Those are achievable aims - I have made so much progress that I just need to tinker with things rather than overhaul my lifestyle.

I made a start yesterday - added pumpkin seeds to be blended into my morning smoothie and chopped up a massive bowl of watermelon, cherries and strawberries to nibble on alongside the more traditional dips whilst watching the football (that is definitely one situation where you need to comfort eat! Not sure how to get round it - maybe change my nationality to Brazilian?!) We also went out for lunch yesterday and chose some healthy foods from the menu. Everyone else ordered fish and chips and I ordered grilled poussin and salad. They brought me fish and chips anyway as they misread the order! So I ended up eating them as they said I would have to wait for my order. Didn't finish the meal and didn't enjoy it (although to be fair, it had a light batter on it). Chips are much better when you steal the odd one off someone elses plate. Oh well, the intention was there...