It's B' DAY
Well folks I'm 43 today – I think I've been telling people I'm 44 this year but this might just be a sign of senility... As it is I know the yearometer has clicked over once more.
There was a messy explosion yesterday in my house – unfortunately I blew a gasket, too many things were going wrong at once and it was all a bit too much. We all rallied around and cut a new one for me – greased with plenty of hugs and I'm back on the road again. It was a classic “one straw too many moment”. The hub is pretty useless at first aiding these things through, he tells me what I have done wrong rather than ask what is wrong. The kids are great though.
I've been packing in too much recently - I knew things were getting out of hand when I looked at my sons Diary for half term last week and realised that he was doing far too much and needed to get bored at some point in time. It would help if I could resolve an underlying sense of frustration about my current work situation. There were a couple of incidents last week that really annoyed me- I was patronised by a two different co-workers on two different occasions – I then found out that one of them who is the same grade as me has managed to get herself promoted during the role mapping thing that is underway. I'm sorry to say that this kind of crap has been tunnelling away at my self confidence for nearly a year now and I'm soo fed up of it. A lot of it stems from the decision that I couldn't work on a certain project because I have kids and couldn't handle the travel all of 9 months ago ( not that I was asked at the time) . Ironically they have people who can't drive on the project instead. Go figure.
A ray of light was shone into my dark tunnel by an agency phoning me about a contract job only to have that taken away when the idiots realised that they were offering me a contract with my current employer – somehow they thought I was out of work?! Well at least it made me laugh!
So I'm sorry to say that I have been battling away at the mood swings and as B'day is here I find myself 6 pounds down on my Xmas weight but back up from where I was a month ago.
In many respects it doesn't matter too much to me. I've finally got back into the swing of fitting my training in and have just signed up for the Leeds Half in May. I'm faster and stronger than I was 12 weeks ago – I value my body for what it can do rather than for what it weighs and that pesky duck has stopped talking to me about that ( but I wish it would shut the duck up about the work stuff). A whole year ago I couldn't do a “proper” sit up - I can do lots now and I'm in double figures for my pushups ( chaps pushups not girly ones) . I now have some muscle in my pelvic region at the front and my SI joint is pretty darn stable. I don't drink during the week as a rule and not because I am “not allowed to “ or because “ I really shouldn't because it will stop me from losing weight” but because I don't like the way it makes me feel when I do. I don't eat crap because I don't like the results on my energy levels and my skin – not because I am “being good” ( I hate that expression but I'm in danger of ranting if I say much more) I am making progress at things - despite it all seeming to be rather slow at times. I need to have a good objective look at what I am doing and what I need to tweak to get me where I want to be.
Last night the hub found some photos on his laptop of us on holiday in France three years ago – he said “look how fat you are in that photo” ( you have to remember he's a Yorkshireman – Geoffrey Boycott can appear sensitive next to him at times!) I was probably only 7 pounds more than I am now – but boy I looked far more than that.
Happy birthday to you
I am sending you a birthday hug.
I am sure you are slimmer than that photo but also fitter, healthier and happier
Take care
Pete
Glad you are managing to keep your fitness up, I envy you that. Some relief there I'm sure.
Take care. Love BikerB x
March forward with a spring in your step ... ... wow that's a good line; heavens knows where I got that one from!!
I hope that you can make time to enjoy some sunshine today.
Fancy that, you're exactly a week older than me...it's my 43rd next Sunday!
I hope youre day turned out well in the end. Don't forget to be good to yourself though...we all need time to relax!
I know what you mean about looking slimmer. I've got some way to go yet, but I've been the weight I am now, before but know that I look much better this time as I look healthy, fit and am starting to see some muscle tone too.
You should be very proud of what you've achieved. Well done.
Bx