A day I didn't expect
What a rubbish day I had yesterday. Tension, stress and anxiety built up - mostly based around my computer problems, dealing with incompetent service personnel, hours spent fruitlessly on the telephone and pressure of work. Migraine headache then started to build up and off I went. Comfort = food !
It just goes to show that the duck is always there, and I didn't even acknowledge it quacking. I lost all reason and ate out of sympathy for myself. Having recognised and acknowledged the problem in other people over the last few months, I thought I had cracked it. Oh no I hadn't !
As my stress levels rose throughout the day, so my self-control began to disintegrate and I comfort ate. Certainly not as much as I might have done, but it included toast and jam and CHOCOLATE. And, of course, I didn't enjoy any of it but I didn't stop.
So recognising it is one step. Not beating myself up about it is another step. For years, this pattern would have continued for days (or even weeks), but now I can turn it around, treat myself with respect and start another day full of understanding and acceptance. I am the way I am, I've changed so much thanks to what Pete and this community have taught me, and I can learn, learn, learn from this rather large hiccup.
And I also know that it takes smallish stress to do this to me - really bad stress makes me totally choke up, meaning that I can't eat anything at all. So, thank goodness, I'll be grateful for being able to deal with the "small" stress that broke my new found routine yesterday, put the whole experience (mentally) in a box so that I can look at it again in the future, and begin another day.
Today is a day of looking after our three grandchildren, in South London, fetching and carrying from two different schools. Two are at the German School so finish their schooldays earlier than their British counterparts. Making lunch, organising homework, piano practise,taking one to gymnastics, making supper. Getting them to bed, keeping things calm in the house while Valerie (their Mum) sees clients downstairs from 7.30 onwards and waiting for Richard to come home at about 9.00. So a full day, one that will be full of love, cuddles, giggles and delight. Food is already prepared and organised to take with us.
How our days vary just like our lives. Seesaws, yo-yo's and roller coasters.
Sorry to have blogged so much - but you all know how therapeutic it is and I hope that some of you can recognise a little of yourselves in what I've said. We come from so many different life-styles and backgrounds, but boy we can strike so many chords together.
Have a good day everyone.
Dolly
Bx
I know your day sounds busy but that is where we grandmas come into our own. We excel at it and althrough ending up knackered at the end of the day, absolutely thrive on it. Sadly, for me, my beloved, one and only, 16 year old grandbaby no longer needs my care, we do however have a day planned in next week's half term to spend some time together and I am greatly looking forward to that.
Don't you just hate it when reason goes out of the window and the munchy monster flies in. All your blip is though is an old form of coping with high stress levels and one that you don't need to use as often as you used to - well hardly ever now, so no worries!
Thank goodness for new days, new opportunities. Have fun!
Yesterday is done, and gone. My yesterday wasn't brilliant either, I had a big chocolate nosh in the evening... the annoying thing was that I didn't actually enjoy eating it! ah well, lesson learned, I'll do better next time.
Some days it's really easy to let things slide and go back to old ways. But that's just part of the challenge and we'll all get there together.
Go find the biggest net you have, scoop up that duck and drop him off at the nearest duck pond. ;-)
Have fun with the grandkids
Hannah xx
I know what the roll of grandmother is like, mine are growing up fast and furious and i do the school run and after school activities run every day as my daughter dosnt drive .... sometimes if they come home with me for dinner too I am exhausted by the time i wave them off, but what great joy too!!! in fact i just got a huge lump in my throat, as I bring all 3 of my grandchldren home after school on a thursday , then the grown ups join us after work, my drive is very slippery from the ice, and as i got out of the car my nearly 16 year old grabbed my jacket from behind to keep me steady, and my 10 and 12 year old girls grabbed an arm each to get me to the front door, so i had all 3 helping me along....... made me feel closer to 90 than 60 ha ha , but really goes to show now they all care !!!
Yesterday i can perfectly understand, there is nothing as frustrating as trying to get computer help on the phone, its enough to make anyone jump into the biscuit tin head first!!! Its a wobble, and onwards and upwards, you know how great you felt without sugar and carbs and starch, you KNOW you can do it.
look forward to seeing you Tuesday night, must dash got an army to feed, the steak has been in the slow cooker since 10am so more than ready to melt in the mouth.... small portion for me, no potatoes and half a plate of cabbage and leak, brocoli, carrots , mushrooms and sweetcorn!!!
Bet you had the time of your life with your lovely grandaughters, they just grow up far too quickly as Wendy says.
Love Sue xxx
What a day for you - I know that stress is the reason I reach for the chocolate - and sometime alcohol in my case too. Sounds like you are moving on though. Bet you are a fantastic Grandma - lucky kids to have you in their life! See you on Tuesday. Sue xxx
You had a little wobble and you didn't fall right down, you will just bounce back up again! And I know you will :-D We are much more self-aware of our coping habits of old and they do come back to haunt us at times, but I think we realise after a while and say hold on a minute no more of that thank you very much - be gone duck be gone!!!
I bet you had a great day with your grandaughters today - a total contrast to yesterday I hope!
You are doing well Dolly and you are perservering, it is almost like the duck comes back to test us when we believe we have practised to make permanent. We WILL PUT THAT DUCK into retreat and make it stay away!
Do not be hard on yourself Dolly and I am sending a big hug to you tonight.
Love
Earthmother xxx
Today was great - the girls are so sweet and loving. It's a great privilege and joy to feel their unconditional love. Of course I know that things will change as they get older but now, at 3, 7 and 10, they are a dream team and seem to love us as much as we love them. Teenage hassles to come but that will be another chapter !
And I had such fun with Esther (the 3 year old) and her dolls, dressing them and undressing them and playing games with them, something I missed out on with Richard and Pete - they weren't into dolls !
Have a good weekend, and thank you again,
Dolly